We have compiled a categorized list of the best Gender and Ethnic jokes and one liners from your favorite comedians and around the web. Our hilarious Gender and Ethnic joke list is comprised of a wide range of topics including:
Politicians have a lot to deal with these days. It's a different world. You know who I feel bad for? Arab Americans who truly want to get into crop dusting. Could be their life long dream, and every time they ask for a pamphlet, all hell breaks loose.
White person write you a check, you can take it to the bank in the morning. Brother write you a check, he's gonna postdate it next Friday, look you straight in the eye and say, 'If you go in there Thursday, the money won't be there.'
You know the worst thing about n*ggers? N*ggers always want credit for some shit they supposed to do. A n*gger will brag about some shit a normal man just does. A n*gger will say some shit like, "I take care of my kids." You're supposed to, you dumb motherfucker! What kind of ignorant shit is that?! "I ain't never been to jail!" What do you want, a cookie?! You're not supposed to go to jail, you low-expectation-having motherfucker!
You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America’s Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn’t want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named: Bush, Dick, and Colon. Need I say more?
If you had to eat another human being to survive, do you think they taste like their ethnic background? Mexicans are spicy? Do you have to have chips and salsa before you bite into one? Chinese people: are you hungry 30 minutes later for more? Let's go everybody -- black people: taste like chicken... I did that joke one night and, of course, a white lady came running up to me after the show. She goes, 'What gives you the right to do jokes about black people like that?' I'm like, 'Listen, lady, my best friend is Cuban and that's close enough.'
You know the only time racism is really good for black people? Terrorism. Terrorism -- never take black hostages. You know it's true. You know why they don't take black hostages, don't you? 'Cause we're bad bargaining chips. They call the White House, 'Hello! We have got five black people, and we will kill them, too! Hello? Hello?'
You'll be walking down the street and you'll see a bunch of black dudes walking, not just any old black dudes, we're talking thugs. And in the group, they got one, or two, sometimes as many as three white guys with them, you ever seen that shit? Well let me tell you something about those white guys. Those white guys are the most dangerous motherfuckers in them groups. It's true, man. There's no telling what kind of crazy shit they've done to get them black dudes respect, but I'll tell you they've done some wild shit.
Black people let me down on Family Feud. One time, they had a black family and a white family on there, at the podium, and the host was like, 'Name a word with the word "hood" in it.' And the white family hit it, and she was like, 'Childhood,' and they was like, 'Show us childhood,' and it was number three. So the black family gets a chance to steal, and this motherfucker gonna say: 'In da hood'.... I was like, dumbass, that's a sentence!
My black friends in America don't believe me. I said, 'Dude, I'm Nigerian American.' 'Word? We thought you were, like, regular black.' What the hell is 'regular black'? Crayola coming out with colors I don't know about?
I wish I was ethnic; I'm nothing. 'Cause if you're Hispanic and you get angry, people are like, 'He's got a Latin temper.' But if you're a white guy and you get angry, people are like, 'That guy's a jerk.'
Ladies, you’ve got to be the shit to you. Stop waiting on a nigga to verify if you’re the shit or not. We’re tired of y’all blaming us for shit we ain’t even in control of. You’ve done got with a nigga and now you talking about, “You fucked up my self esteem.” Bitch, it’s called self esteem! How the fuck can I fuck up how you feel about you, simple bitch?
My mother... would save her money and take us skiing on the weekend, which was brave. She took a black family skiing. This was the 80s -- brothers weren't skiing, man. People didn't know what we were coming down the mountain. They'd be looking up, confused, 'Oh my God, are those bears? I think I see bears skiing down the mountain! Huh, they're African Americans trying something new. What's next -- golf?'
People are too afraid of uptown. A lot of people will tell you, like, 'Don't go to Harlem. You can never go there 'cause as soon as you get there, they kill you.' That's what people think. As soon as you arrive in Harlem, someone just stabs you in the face right away... That's people's image of Harlem: just everyone standing around waiting for lost white people to kill all day.
Black people think that everything's subliminal. I was at the grocery store yesterday; black dude was in the same aisle I was in. I said, 'Excuse me, can you tell me where the barbeque sauce is at?' He said, 'Why? 'Cause I'm black?' I said, 'No, 'cause you got some in your cart.'
White people gotta bungee jump and ski and all that stuff. We face living in the 'hood all the time. We don't have to search for any adventure and seek adventure and stuff. I'm black -- just me trying to pay my bills is an adventure.
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