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Kyle Grooms Biography

Best known for his hilarious half-hour stand-up special on Comedy Central and his guest appearances on VH-1, NBC’s Last Comic Standing and Chappelle’s Show, Kyle started doing stand-up at a local Miami night club while holding down a day job as Art Director at the Spanish-language network Univision. After a few years honing his act in Miami, Kyle said goodbye to Spanish TV and returned to New Jersey, where he was born.

Within just a few months, Kyle has become a regular on the New York City comedy scene. Kyle has performed at New York’s top comedy clubs, including Carolines, Comic Strip, Comedy Cellar and Gotham. He delivers an honest and intelligent view of the world and gives an intimate look into his life experiences growing up in the American melting pot.

Kyle has a sharp sense of humor that appeals to a broad audience. His first comedy CD, The Legend of the Jersey Devil, was named one of iTunes’ Top 100 Comedy CD’s of 2009. Kyle has been featured on several television, radio and Internet broadcasts, including P-Diddy’s Bad Boys of Comedy, Jamie Foxx’s Laffapalooza, Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn, The Byron Allen Show, BET Comic View, Red Carpet Fashion, and for international flavor, Le Grande Journal in France.

Kyle also has several appearances in national TV ad campaigns under his belt for companies including T-Mobile, Sears, Career Builders and Holiday Inn Express. Kyle continues to grow as an stand-up comedian, writer and actor and can be seen performing worldwide.

Kyle Grooms comedy specials

  • Comedy Central Presents: Kyle Grooms (2007) Kyle Grooms Comedy Central Presents The special was released on January 26th, 2007.

Kyle Grooms jokes, Quote and One Liners

I know tap water. I grew up drinking it, I did. My mother wouldn't buy anything else. But she tried to make tap water sound delicious. She called it 'city punch.'

I love my mother, man, 'cause she wanted to keep me and my brothers off the streets. We grew up in a drug-infested neighborhood -- the United States.

My mother... would save her money and take us skiing on the weekend, which was brave. She took a black family skiing. This was the 80s -- brothers weren't skiing, man. People didn't know what we were coming down the mountain. They'd be looking up, confused, 'Oh my God, are those bears? I think I see bears skiing down the mountain! Huh, they're African Americans trying something new. What's next -- golf?'

I like immigrants 'cause they really appreciate America. They get here; they happy. They look up at the buildings like, 'Wow! It's beautiful.' And we're like, 'You like it? Good. You gonna clean the bathrooms.'

People get fired for robots. I hope that doesn't happen with comedy. You'll come to a comedy show, there'll be a robot on stage. 'For family jokes, press one. Relationship jokes, press two. For penis jokes, press deez nuts.'

Interracial dating is becoming more popular. I see people dating, man -- different cultures, different ethnic groups, different religions, man. 'Cause people looking for love! They ain't got time to wait for the colors to match.

The first girl I ever made love to, she was ghetto as hell. She told me, 'You couldn't even handle this.' I was like, 'Ooh, bring it over here. I'll knock a welfare check out your ass.'

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